In which David Foster Wallace’s self-help becomes my own self-help
“There is, in writing, a certain blend of sincerity and manipulation, of trying always to gauge what the particular effect of something is gonna be,” he [David Foster Wallace] said. “It’s a very precious asset that really needs to be turned off sometimes. My guess is that writers probably make fun, skilled, satisfactory, and seemingly considerate partners for other people. But that the experience for them is often rather lonely.
“I’ve never really taken a break from a relationship by choice, but having just finished a two and a half year relationship with a truly exhausting and sad ending I think maybe it’s time I did. I enjoy my own company and deep down I know its the pressure to be with someone that is the main reason I mostly am. I want to learn to feel valid and loved outside of a relationship, which will obviously make my chances of making the next one work much better.”
David Foster Wallace, in conversation with David Lipsky. From the book Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself: A Road Trip with David Foster Wallace.
Anyone who has been in a bad marriage [relationship?] knows that its defining characteristic is the unspeakable loneliness in which one feels shrouded, a sense of isolation amplified by not being alone.
—Dominique Browning
(Source: The New York Times)
- INTERVIEWER: How do you imagine your audience?
- DeLILLO: When my head is in the typewriter the last thing on my mind is some imaginary reader. I don’t have an audience; I have a set of standards. But when I think of my work out in the world, written and published, I like to imagine it’s being read by some stranger somewhere who doesn’t have anyone around him to talk to about books and writing—maybe a would-be writer, maybe a little lonely, who depends on a certain kind of writing to make him feel more comfortable in the world.
- INTERVIEWER: I’ve read critics who say that your books are bound to make people feel uncomfortable.
- DeLILLO: Well, that’s good to know. But this reader we’re talking about—he already feels uncomfortable. He’s very uncomfortable. And maybe what he needs is a book that will help him realize he’s not alone.
